Ch-ch-ch-changes – hardest post to post

This certainly isn’t the easiest thing to blog about but I also feel it kinda necessary. My travel and relationship with Adam have been pretty big focal points of my comic work as well as this website- so I feel I should keep you “in the know”. I would love to chat with all my friends/family face to face about my “life decisions” but distance and time don’t really allow for it.

Wednesday of this week I’m moving solo to Edinburgh, Scotland and starting a new job Thursday at a cafe/juice bar called Hula in the Grassmarket area.

This shift may seem abrupt to some people and kinda out of the blue but this is a decision that’s been in the making since early September. After having my Scotland adventure I realized that my priorities and just my life in general got a bit jumbled. I think I had to remove myself from my situation in order to have that objective perspective- to be able to look in on things using logic as well as emotion.

My “plan” if we want to call it that- was to just continue to work long hours and save cash at Patisserie Valerie and then once my visa was up- I’d go back to Canada and set up something stable and Adam would come join me in the land of Canucks. But going on that trip was in “slap in the face” territory. I came to the UK to travel- to soak it all in. To experience all the things. Somehow I’d allowed myself to just continue to work these bloody cafe jobs, not see a damn thing and focus more on my relationship than my own personal bits and bobs. It’s as if every other aspect of my life beyond my relationship had been put on hold since the spring. I was just coasting- and I was kinda miserable…

So I decided to do the hard thing. To return to why I came out here in the first place- move up to the city that easily is my favourite in the UK (Manchester and I have a tricky relationship…) get a job that has decent hours – (5:30-6pm close times, where I can wear my own clothing and not get shouted at for nose piercings, that allows me to be able to cook a meal from time to time… has CHRISTMAS OFF. HONEST. They bloody close for 3 days around Christmas) Just improve my situation a bit. But then of course, I have to leave Adam and Manchester behind.

The Scotland adventure also made me realize that I don’t really want to head directly back to Canada and latch on to a 9-5 job immediately either- I was choosing to do that as it was the best option for Adam and I- but I’m going to backpack Europe for a few months this summer instead and then make my mind up. I can ponder the possibility of Australian visas or other adventures. All doors are open.

This wasn’t easy. But my guts feel that this is the right thing to do. I believe it is. I really do.

Adam is such a lovely and kind fellow. Sing songy, positive tour de force. I’m gutted…
But I feel like his life is on a different set of tracks than the one mine is on- but I have been so privileged. SO privileged that our paths were able to cross for this long- and that I’ve been able to share these past two years with him.

But I’m also happy that I figured all of this out before any serious business type decisions were made. Before we’re both sitting in an apartment in Canada dumbfounded.

And there we have it- changes indeed.


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