I think I have a calling

… I just don’t know what.

I was talking to the bf Dan last night about life in general and ideas about marriage and whatnot and somehow I ended up asking him whether or not he ever felt like he had a bigger purpose in this world; whether or not he believed that he had a “calling” or something specific that he was put on this Earth to do.
Beyond enjoyin’ his life, he said no.

This got me thinkin’- ‘cause I’ve always (since I was super little) felt in some way that I have something important to do. I have no clue what that thing is, but holy hell do I have to do it.

Anyone else feel this way?

I feel like one day I’m going to read a book- or come across the plight of some people somewhere and then I’m going to devote my life to that cause. I feel like I have it in me somewhere to make a difference… about something… or someone… somewhere.

I’m not sure what it means (if anything) to feel this way. I just hope I have an “aha moment” eventually so I can get to work.

(For a while I secretly I thought that I was supposed to fight clothing companies on behalf of women like me. The ones that aren’t superbly skinny or plus size. The “in-betweeners”- I think we get very little play. I can fit into all different sizes of shirts depending on the company- but I will always have to wear the biggest pair of pants regular stores offer while being too skinny to fit into plus size. WTF. But that’s another rant for another time…)



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2 Responses to “I think I have a calling”

  1. Cayrah Says:

    you can start with this (maybe)…my own personal cause near and dear to my heart if it works and 1 person stops saying this word my life has purpose forever, i never have to do anything else.
    in any case..your purpose may be something incredible and world changing or it could be as seemingly “insignificant” as the joy you brought to your parents, all the adventures you took, told your friends about, and inspired them to see more of the world or take on different perspectives. it’s all relative!
    i feel ya on the in betweeners, im short but i wear about a 12 and XL tops and im about 150 lbs. im not heavy in the least, but i would never call myself skinny drives me crazy!

  2. Kayla Hillier Says:

    Thank you- it’s true though it is the little battles that can make a difference.

    But yeah, in betweeners I believe make up the vast majority of the population and have zero representation.

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